I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
