Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
