i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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