I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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