I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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