i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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