Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
