Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
two words: eviction party
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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