It's Friday. Sex?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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