bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
