He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
