I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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