we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize