like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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