Don't you send me to vm
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
