Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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