bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
