i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
as a side note pls kill me
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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