She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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