She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
