I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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