i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
