I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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