Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
