yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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