so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We don't watch enough power rangers
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
