what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
