she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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