I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
