Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
