Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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