what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
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When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
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We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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