found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
