i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
