She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
