conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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