my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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