Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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