hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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