this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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