She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
the day after is always just damage control
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
