my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
