Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
