She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize