the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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