So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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