ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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