Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Vodka?
Forever.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
