Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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