So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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