the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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