I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
