My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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