Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
