it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
dude. I can hear the air.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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