I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
