Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
