i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
