Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
