"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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