so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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