he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
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I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
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When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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