Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
