It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
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Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
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You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
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