Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea