he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?