You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans