Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"

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  (847): I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it" http://tfl.nu/8m3i
  Replies (34) Good night (1110) Bad night (3603)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.

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  (206): Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio. http://tfl.nu/95rn
  Replies (30) Good night (7026) Bad night (1072)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one

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  (860): The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one http://tfl.nu/gt0t
  Replies (27) Good night (6270) Bad night (954)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.

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  (724): i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that. http://tfl.nu/tj9k
  Replies (6) Good night (5639) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.

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  (337): Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life. http://tfl.nu/xhxl
  Replies (15) Good night (2598) Bad night (1157)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.

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  (541): To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever. http://tfl.nu/9nwk
  Replies (7) Good night (1002) Bad night (3405)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.

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  (623): and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed. http://tfl.nu/5lux
  Replies (4) Good night (721) Bad night (2709)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.

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  (701): He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin. http://tfl.nu/a8q9
  Replies (4) Good night (2083) Bad night (635)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video

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  (315): Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video http://tfl.nu/4318
  Replies (10) Good night (2714) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell

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  (217): She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell http://tfl.nu/6kpc
  Replies (6) Good night (619) Bad night (1444)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?

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  (765): Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots? http://tfl.nu/q4x4
  Replies (8) Good night (1906) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.

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  (802): Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step. http://tfl.nu/mq9b
  Replies (3) Good night (1184) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.

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  (517): Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals. http://tfl.nu/q6vr
  Replies (12) Good night (1108) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.

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  (563): Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break. http://tfl.nu/2dfj
  Replies (0) Good night (958) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.

  (360): View more from Washington

  1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you

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  (206): You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits. (360): 1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you http://tfl.nu/1254
  Replies (9) Good night (2451) Bad night (462)

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