She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...